Have you ever said this to yourself?
I certainly have and what follows isn’t pretty.
This thought hurts, you know why? Because it comes across as “smart.” Responsible. The more you tell yourself you’re wrong, the sooner you can right your wrongs. This is shame wearing a mask.
If you’re honest with yourself, you know condemning your choices doesn’t make you NOT do them. “But Marcie, what I ate wasn’t healthy!” I know you think if you don’t call out the “bad behavior,” you’ll keep doing it. Please listen closely.
Your body digests “unhealthy” food better than disapproving thoughts. You can’t shame your body into behaving better. Your body responds to shame like any other stressful attack: flight, fight or freeze.
So, call out “I ate badly” for what it is – a self-improvement land mine that first punishes you with blame & shame and traps you into the illusion of control. Before you take off to go exercise the-pain-of-shame away (that’s what hurts, not the food. The food has already digested), stop this pattern of self-hate.
Stop trying to lose weight and be fit using shame masquerading as responsible self-talk. Has it gotten you what you want? I mean REALLY want?! I didn’t think so.
It’s time to be less responsible. This is what my client did after private nutrition coaching, and it worked.
Call this crazy nutrition advice but not until you hear her results. For months she reported “falling off the wagon.” She’d been trying hard to get back to “healthy eating” without success. So I asked her to come at this from a totally different angle.
She took her life-long dream, “I want to be healthy & fit,” and turned it around:
- I don’t want to be healthy & fit.
- I want my thinking to be healthy & fit.
This was truer.
She didn’t want to be healthy and fit. Being healthy and fit meant hard work and giving up things she loved. And since she’d wanted it for so long (ten years), it held a quality of being out of reach.
Are you ready to turn your health around?
DON’T try to be healthy. This is what got my client grocery shopping, cooking, using her slow cooker – without stress-eating for the first time in months. All the things she wanted but wasn’t getting when she was pushing herself to “eat well.”
Try this for a week. If it’s too scary, set up a call with me. There are baby steps that might make this leap easier. But if you’ve been wanting to eat well for weeks or months and your behavior isn’t aligning, try this “back door” approach.
Tell me in the comments below what breakthroughs and insights happen with this 180 degree turn around.
This is a game-changer. Please share it with anyone you know who’s struggling. And don’t feel shy about reaching out as you recreate your new healthy mindset.